ALRIGHT!!
It's November. Do you know what that means?
Yes, it means Bonfire Night.
Yes, it means Thanksgiving for my Americans.
Yes, it means my (??? 26th, I think?) birthday on the 11th.
Yes, it means Remembrance Day with poppies and the Cenotaph (haha see what I did there? You'll see in a moment)
Yes, it means Christmas stuff starts going up for some unknown reason.
Yes, it means you need to start putting your heating on more frequently.
But do you know what else it means? For me, anyway?
VISA SEASON!!
That's right, boyo. It's that time of the year again. Getting deja vu? I know I am. Ohh jolly jilly boyo!!!
I arrived in the UK on November 22, 2016. This is my literal anniversary date. It's stamped in my passport if you don't believe me (I'm typing this just in case there's any discrepancy with Home Office and this blog entry may or may not need to be shown as evidence?? Haha, sorry. I'm trying to cope with my current nerves by being cheeky).
I can apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain between then and my BRP expiry (which is March 7, 2022 - in which case, why would you apply on the expiry date when the application can take 6 months? You'll be sitting on Section 3C of the Immigration Act for SIX months. That sounds like limbo hell).
Ah, Indefinite Leave to Remain. You are the true final boss in a video game.
Yes, your attacks are cool looking and have nice particle effects (aka no NHS Surcharge)
As is your overall character design (aka guaranteed settlement)
But why must you have that instakill attack (aka £18,600 income threshold still applies and if you can't meet it, you're SOL boyo)
And why must you inflict so much HP damage (as in wallet HP damage: £50 Life in the UK Test, £??? BRP costs, and £2,389 application fee)
But like a final boss, killing you (aka getting the acceptance letter) will be SOOOOOO relieving. The game will be over.
Citizenship is an optional £1,330 DLC
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE COMPARING THE VISA PROCESS TO VIDEO GAMES BUT THIS IS WHERE I AM AT IN MY LIFE!! NERVES DO WEIRD THINGS TO ME, OKAY!??!
I'm feeling this mixture of euphoria (as in THIS IS FINAL FIGHT...WE ARE NEARING THE END) as well as anxiety (OH MY GOD IT IS A VISA AND IF I DO ONE THING OUT OF LINE I MIGHT GET REJECTED AND HAVE TO GO BACK TO AMERICA AND START THE WHOLE THING OVER AGAIN OH GOD OH GOD OH GODOHGODEJAGLKVEJALVKJE).
ANYWAY!!
*takes deep breath*
The main reason why I'm writing this blog is that I've finally booked the Life in the UK test. Remember my Cenotaph nod in the beginning? Yeah, that bit's in the test. Do you know who succeeded Henry VIII? No, it was not Elizabeth I. He was succeeded by his son Edward VI. Do you know the name of all of Henry VIII's wives? There are six of them. I know there are two Annes, three Catherines, and a Jane Seymour. Anne Boleyn was second. One of the Catherines was accused of adultery (checks notes) Ah, it was Catherine Howard, his fifth wife. Cue
this song that got played to me in high school.
The test is on the 10th, much sooner than I anticipated. Time to amp up on the studying. The questions about famous athletes are definitely one of my weaknesses, as I don't like sports. At all. But I DO remember that Scotland invented golf (Thanks, Jeremy Clarkson/Grand Tour!)
To make you even more nervous, you can get turned away from the test centre without a refund if you put down the slightest wrong detail. God forbid a human applicant makes a mistake, right??
Either way, history was never my forte. Back in high school, I took a world history class. I learned about everything from the Industrial Age (1800s) to the current age (which went up to the 1990s in that book). That class was boring. And the teacher was...well, she wasn't terrible. But you know the stereotypical formal, uptight, strict female teacher? Wears glasses and might say "hmph!" every once in a while? I got that vibe from her. Despite that, I'm really thankful from what little I remembered from that class. It helped me through a lot of the bits in 1800-1990. Especially since it wasn't that much different in America and the UK. There was still a Great Depression in 1929. The World Wars were still a thing in both countries. Although some UK-exclusive battles need to be studied further. For some VERY ODD reason, I remembered accurately that Hitler invaded Poland. I don't know how I remembered it...maybe I'd read it somewhere recently? I don't know. Either way, that's there.
There are some silly common sense questions in there, too. This isn't a word-for-word example, but it is something along the lines of this:
As you get settled in the UK, what are your responsibilities?
A: Steal from a Tesco
B: Be disrespectful to the people around you
C: Blow up the Parliament, Guy Fawkes-style
D: Look after yourself and others and just be a decent human being over all
I laugh at these types of questions. Here's a direct example from the book I'm studying out of:
Which TWO of the following are freedoms citizens and permanent residents of the UK should respect?
A: Freedom of speech
B: Half-day off work on Friday
C: Freedom from unfair discrimination
D: Free heating during the winter
Anybody know the answers?? Cos I sure don't.
There's also the case of remembering that Great Britain = England, Scotland, and Wales but NOT Norther Ireland. Poor Northern Ireland. However, the term "UK" encompasses Northern Ireland.
Also it's pretty heavy-handed that Charles I was a cheeky and stubborn bugger. He defied Parliament and tried to make it all about his own rules, and the Scots did NOT like that. In the end, he got executed for his defiance.
Also Charles II hiding in an oak tree was a thing, too.
So, there were some funny bits about British history. At least I can have a laugh about the Charles line of monarchs.
I think the most annoying thing about this test is that I've got ALL of that history to cover, but not all of it is going to be on the test. The test itself is only going to have 24 questions. Yet, it covers a history going all the way back to the Stone Age, and also throws in stuff about sports, art, music, novels, theatre, movies, police, national landmarks, and the justice system (which is thankfully somewhat similar to the US in that there is a judge, a randomly selected jury, a sheriff, and what-have-you). Like, for example, there could be 23 questions asking about movies, sports, TV, inventions, and poets...and one single question about Charles I. They're randomly generated in that way, so it wouldn't shock me if that's a possibility.
I mean, let's say you have a weakness in history (as I kind of do, but it's not as bad as my weakness in maths), and you spend hours upon hours pouring over the entirety of British history, expecting all of it to be on the test. You don't pay much attention to the media stuff because you don't think there would be many questions about it, as it's less relevant than history. Then you get to the test and you get tons of questions asking about which athlete did what, and what they were famous for. You get a ton of questions asking about the Parliament and how MPs are elected. There might be a question or two about haggis or an Ulster fry-up thrown in there. Maybe a question about the Queen's roles. You get to the end, only to find one single historical question regarding the Middle Ages.
...What? You assumed history would be the major factor of this 24-question test, yet...there was only one question about it??
Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. So, I need to study E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Regardless of whether or not it ends up on the test. Do you know Sir Roger Bannister? Something something famous sprinter and four miles. Or was it five? *checks notes* "He was the first man in the world to run a mile in under four minutes." Okay, I was right about the four bit. God, I hate sports. This'll be tough. And all for a non-refundable £50 too! WOOHOO!!
I've said quite a bit about a test I've never even taken yet. For all I know, it could be easy. I might get just one sports-related question, or maybe even none at all. Despite how this may look, I'm not hating this at all. I'd much rather be learning about Charles II and oak trees than redoing the same safety-related training module for work for the umpteenth time. I'd much rather learn about how the NHS came to be instead of having to solve for x in an equation. This isn't leisure, but it's not terrible. Of course, I'd RATHER be drawing. But needs must!
And anyway, it'll all be worth it once visa season is over. Part of me wants to hope we'll have enough left over for £800 priority...but I doubt it. So...a five to six month wait WOOHOO.
I'm with my husband, that's all that matters. If I have to get a degree in astrophysics in order to stay with him, I'd do it. If I have to figure out the true meaning of life, I would. If I had to build a time machine from scratch to stay with him, I would work nonstop until I have that Miramobile.
...So, yeah. When I put it like that, a history test and some wallet-damaging fees are nothing, and are MORE than worth it. 💜
