In 2010 I joined DeviantART with a love of, well, art. And Sonic the Hedgehog/Sonaze. I was blown away by the support and friendships I made along the way…sure wish it was still that way nowadays but I digress.
One of the friendly users, LightningHedgehog01, had
something nice to say about my art and stories. I took a look at his profile
and was pleasantly surprised to find a myriad of similar interests; most
notably rock music and Sonaze.
Needless to say, we occasionally dropped feedback on each other’s
art for a bit. Eventually, however, it got a little rocky on Lightning’s side.
He was going through some tough times regarding an abusive ex-girlfriend,
and…things were really heavy. I’ve never been an expert at comfort or advice,
especially on relationships. I was 15 at the time, and therefore pretty
ignorant. Still, I kept my DMs open and tried to make sure that he fully
understood that I was there for him, regardless of what he thought or said. I
may have been helpless, and I may not have been the best for comfort, but I
still hated the notion of his suffering. Even to this day, mental health is
something that is really important to me. If it weren’t for my anxiety issues,
I’d probably be pursuing a degree in psychotherapy. Still, I was there for him
to the best of my ability. I could remember drawing him pictures and even
writing a poem for him.
Meanwhile, I soon went through my own relationship problem,
when my ex cheated on me with multiple women. It hadn’t hurt me all too bad,
though, because I’d gotten with TJ out of desperation. Lightning had admired my
strength despite that, and I told him that if he were close to my age, I’d date
him – because I saw how devoted he’d felt to his ex, in spite of the things she’d
put him through.
And that’s when I learnt that he was actually only a year
older than me. And I think that’s when things started to turn. We got closer as
friends, bonding over Sonaze and the personal struggles we went through as
introverts. We soon began communicating daily via DeviantART notes.
Then in 2012, our friend Lauren informed
me that Lightning saw me as MORE than just a friend.
I was pleasantly surprised…even almost sceptical! And after
being hurt before, I was wary. But I would be lying if I said I hadn’t given it
thought in the past; I’d even gotten angry at myself for humouring the idea,
because I assumed my mind was just jumping at the idea of another relationship,
in spite of everything.
Going against my defence mechanisms, I decided to humour the
idea anyway: Lightning and I became a couple on July 18, 2012.
At the time, I was worried this would be another one and
done thing, that I was going to get broken in the end again. To ease our wary
minds, we went slowly to let our long distance relationship blossom. But we
both knew we wanted to unite at some point, even if it seems difficult at the
time. Would it be too expensive? Would our families disapprove? What if one of
us would be stood up? What if we weren’t even who we said we were?!
That all went away on Sonic’s 22nd birthday, when
Lightning came over to the United States to unite with me. To say that was the
best summer I had in a while was an understatement. You can find mini blogs of
our experiences on both of our profiles. After that trip, the both of us spent
the next three years going back and forth. I’d been to the UK twice, and he’d
been to America more times than I could remember, to be honest.
Naturally, as the years into our relationship progressed, we
began to ponder when the distance would end…if ever? Our doubts were stronger
than they were before our initial reunion!! Would it be me in the UK, or him in
the US? Or would we meet in the middle somewhere? Lol.
I think I can remember considering both ideas. I saw
something about a Green Card, and heard from our friend SonicGuru about how
complicated they were. And I was more lenient towards going to the UK anyway.
After my trips to the UK, I…felt like I belonged there. I felt like I was MEANT
to live there. I…don’t know how to describe it, to be honest. Maybe I’m
secretly British at heart? Either way, I saw something called a “spouse visa”
for the UK, and how Lightning needed to earn £18,600 a year in order to sponsor
me. Therefore, this…didn’t look promising.
In order to commence with this spouse visa, we…needed to be
spouses first and foremost!! So, we got married May 15, 2016 in America.
Lightning went back to the UK shortly after, and…it hurt more than previous
separations. A newly married couple shouldn’t have to go through that. They
should be in each other’s arms and honeymooning! After that, that’s when I knew
I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t handle the distance any longer. Something
needed to be done.
After doing more research on the spouse visa, I discovered
that there are exceptions to the income threshold! Lightning cared for his
brother at the time, and earned Carer’s Allowance. Carer’s Allowance was among
the few exceptions to the £18,600 rule! So, we used that.
Late summer of 2016 began the most nervous journey of my
life. I didn’t think we could do it. I had to take a trip to a nearby city
embassy with my grandparents in order to get my biometrics done. There was a
stack of papers as thick as my body. I mailed it in. This was my first time
doing something major regarding the government. So, this, paired with the
uncertainty, made for a really stressful time. In the end, I got the first visa
in October. And…I was over the moon. We both were! And that’s when we got to book
the first one-way flight ticket!
But that wasn’t the end of our long-distance story; even though the distance was technically closed. Even though I was able to enter the UK, I was still on a time limit. In fact, that was only the first of a total of three visas I had to go through.
Skim through the 2016-2021 posts in this blog to find out what fresh hell I had to go through!!
Most importantly:
The last visa.
They call it “Indefinite Leave to Remain”, which
means there is no more time limits. In some ways, you’re legally classed a
resident.
And guess what?
On March 22, 2022…
I RECEIVED IT!!!
This means after nearly ten years of Lightlice…we are
finally LEGALLY permanently as one. Yes, I’ve lived in the UK for five years,
but I have always been on borrowed time. But now, it’s over. No more visas. Of
course, citizenship is still a thing, but it’s completely optional. And of
course, I aim to apply for it. I know this was a long read, but I just wanted
to write it all to illustrate how far we’ve come in ten years.
From our humble DeviantART days to our physical closeness.
From chatting over FaceTime to chatting FACE-TO-FACE. From close friends to
husband and wife. From insecure teenagers to somewhat well-weathered adults.
From doubting the idea of him wanting to stay, to officialising my permanent
stay here.
It gets me feeling nostalgic.
So, this is the end of the Lightlice Visa Book. Now, it’s
time to start a new Lightlice Book about other less-life-changing things. It’s
time to go through normal couple things.
I will update to include citizenship later on, but I can tally up the costs
as of March 27, 2022.
The Spouse Visa (2016) costed roughly £2,500
The Further Leave to Remain Visa (2019) costed £2,187
The Indefinite Leave to Remain Visa (2021) costed £2,583
So, this five-year-long journey costed us a total of £7,270.
But you know what? It was MORE than worth it.
I love you, Lightning. And thank you for sponsoring me and
carrying me through this five-year madness.
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