The Dread is Back...

We are back at this stage of uncertainty again. Only this time I feel like it’s worse, despite having my husband here. When I was waiting for spouse visa, I at least had a place to fall back on if it got refused. Now, I risk losing my home and my job, ON TOP of being forcibly separated from my husband. My BRP expires two weeks from today; my work’s head office is eager to remind me via emails. And the thing is, I have no way of proving that I’ll get a grace period. I can’t use Section 3C of The Immigration Act, because that doesn’t explicitly say anything about work.  I don’t have any way in which I can prove to them that I’m okay to keep working. But even if I did, what if the application is refused? My work will get in a lot of trouble. I’m wondering if quitting for the time being will be safer. But I don’t know if I can afford that...

On top of this, I got a call about a month or two ago from my letting agency about my immigration status as well. So, my living situation might become compromised as well. As a result of that, my husband may be forced to move out too. 

So, let’s put this scenario here: in two weeks time, I’ll have lost my job and my house. Not too long after that, I’ll get a letter saying my visa was refused. I’ll be forced to go back to America. 

I feel like my life is on the verge of collapse as a result of this. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared of making long term plans for anything, in the event that I get deported. I’ll have to go back to America and I will have lost everything. My home, my job, my husband. I’ll be back to square one. I just...I don’t know what to do. This uncertainty, this dread, this possibility...it really hurts. 

My husband is a lot more positive about this. But I worry that if I give an inch of confidence or optimism, I’ll become complacent. I can’t afford to NOT be on my guard. 

I just don’t know what to do. 😖I feel like this is all a bad omen. Should I just get the suitcase out and start packing for home? 😢

The Waiting Game Begins

The biometric appointment was quick and painless, thanks to the fact that I was able to upload them beforehand. The only complaints about that day were that I didn't know where it was and I ended up misdirecting my husband and I. I ended up walking 7.5 miles and getting sunburnt. I got heat exhausted and sunburnt. My appointment was at the Sopra Steria building near Birmingham International. It's been almost a week since that appointment now, and the only thing I need to do is wait for a response. Naturally, I'm dreading the possibility of it getting refused. I'm scared to make long term plans and bookings for the future, in case it does get refused. At the same time, though, I can't help but also feel confident that it will be accepted. I'm at the same half-and-half limbo that I was in last time. It isn't fun. My adrenaline oftentimes kick in randomly whenever I think about it; if I accidentally wake up at 7am and this happens, I struggle going back to sleep. My husband's incredibly confident it'll be accepted. I just wish I had that kind of positivity.

I may just finish the entry here because thinking about it makes me anxious and restless. It's oftentimes a struggle to relax, because my wandering mind will start thinking about it. I need to keep my mind constantly engaged in other things.


Also Happy Independence Day to my American readers!