FINALLY GOT A BANK ACCOUNT!!

So awhile back, I received a water bill in the mail. This was great, as the electric bill isn't in my name and the Council Tax bill had the wrong postcode. And for some reason, the council stopped sending me bills, so all I could use to open up a bank account was a water bill. I've had enough of the pisstake that Lloyd's had given me. So along with the recommendation from two others, I went to Barclays.


...and holy crap, it went as smooth as silk.


Seriously. I filled out a bank account application online for Barclays, then went in for an appointment. It was literally click, click, signature, done. No additional questions. No awkward silences. As of typing this, I have an official account with my latest income payment in it, along with a fully functional contactless debit card.

To make things short and concise, I would like to list off the *pardon my French* bullshit I had to go through regarding Lloyd's. I will also provide a Barclays list in comparison.

Lloyd's Bank:

• Went there five times to try to open an account
• Since we'd gone there so many times, we were paired with the same lady a lot. She (understandably) became somewhat fed up and condescending after awhile. I remember one comment in particular from her. I was trying to put the documents into my handbag and she said, "You need a bigger bag!" and I thought: Really? I was able to fit the documents in there before, and I am quite satisfied with my current handbag, thanks! This was after she sent us off for having the wrong documents, so it was kind of a patronising comment to send us off on. Nothing like: "I am really sorry about this!" or anything like that. The last comment I got from her during one of our appointments was that my handbag was too small. 
• Tried many documents but they just said no (to be fair, Barclays had the same policies...but it was still a waste of time and money, and an overall pisstake)
• During one the attempts I brought a Council Tax bill. I was about 95% close to getting an account, but then I realised the post code was wrong and it was completely cancelled.
• As I was very close to getting an account, I was told I would have a basic account. No overdraft. No contactless card. No suitable functions. Just a debit card with no benefits whatsoever.
• This is minor, but worth noting. To log onto my husband's bank account, I have to take an extra step to sign in. I know it's a security measure, but it's still somewhat of a hassle and discourages me from checking the account online.

Barclays Bank:

• Filled in an application online. Went in there one time. Click, click, signature, account opened.
• We were paired with a lady who was very friendly and understanding. She also agreed that the Lloyd's situation was BS. She was more informal than the Lloyd's lady. She even commented on how beautiful the US passports are.
• While Barclays wouldn't accept private tenancy agreements either, and has possibly the same address-proving policies as Lloyd's, I kind of feel like they would have been slightly more lenient than Lloyd's. I can remember in one of my times with Lloyd's, they didn't like my passport. They wanted my BRP. But Barclays readily accepted my passport - they liked it, even.
• I was given a normal account with an overdraft capability and a contactless card. Granted, I couldn't immediately sign up for an overdraft because I have no credit or financial security to fall back on. But I should be able to get an overdraft after a few months. At Lloyd's, I wouldn't be given a contactless card. Contactless cards are a minor thing, I am not bothered either way. I am just simply pointing out that I would possibly feel inferior with a Lloyd's Basic Account. But at Barclays, I got a normal account. Nothing substandard. Everything is there. So I don't feel inferior.
• Logging onto my Barclays app is literally one and done. I type in a passcode, and I am in. It will even allow Touch ID. And I can even customise my debit card if I wanted to.

I know in some of these points, I might seem a bit petty. But after the BS I went through regarding Lloyd's, these petty things are contradicted by Barclays. My view on Lloyd's has been tarnished after this ridiculous experience. If you are an expat in the UK, don't try opening an account with Lloyd's. They may be good for British people, but not expats. Barclays felt friendlier and simpler. They may not be top tier, but they are most certainly more expat-friendly. If I had to summarise them both in a few words:

Lloyd's: Posh. Patronising. Strict.

Barclays: Warm. Friendly. Sympathetic.

So, yeah. I do not recommend Lloyd's. At all. My husband is actually thinking of switching over from Lloyd's to Barclays, because he isn't pleased with their treatment of me. 

So I will proudly flash my Barclays card in the direction of a Lloyd's bank, and say: "At least birds can fly. Eagles are majestic and owls are wise. But what do your stupid horses have?"

Haha...it's funny because it's a logo joke.

I'm signing out now...